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Netflix’s Nobody Wants This took the world by storm when it came out in 2024. If you were a person that had any connections to a Jewish space (synagogue, Hillel, a service organization, ANYTHING), it was hard to escape the themed content.
The examination of an interfaith relationship with one Jewish partner on a major streaming platform with well-known actors was a big deal. Clearly, the show is a hit, and it’s a fascinating premise: what would it look like for someone whose life is defined by their religion to be in partnership with someone outside of that? How does that work?
It's a question we think about a lot at Seven Circles. In Circle 6, we ask you to discuss ‘The Big 3’ with your partner: money, children, and religion. We chose these topics for Circle6 because whether or not you are observant, want kids, or have wealth, these are difficult topics for couples. Like the other circles, Circle 6 aims to facilitate a dialogue on something that might be kind of sticky. Regardless of whether you’re in an interfaith or same-faith relationship, everyone has different experiences and viewpoints. And discussing those outright with your partner, while challenging, can lead to deeper connection.
Circle 6, and this post, invites you to ask yourself and your partner these questions:
· Do I have a clear idea of how religion will be expressed/practiced if my partner and I have children?
· How comfortable do I feel/does my partner feel at religious events/ceremonies?
· Do I feel pressure to practice a religion by my/my partner’s family?
· What parts of my religious practice would I be willing to part with if they make my partner uncomfortable? What parts of my religious practice do I hope to share with my partner?
These questions aren’t meant to scare you into never being in an interfaith relationship. Not all of us are going to fall in love with a clergy member in a faith we don’t subscribe to (lookin’ at you, Joanne).Religion might not be something that impacts your relationship at all. But it also might impact it more than you realize, and it’s important to reflect and connect with yourself and your partner on how that might play out. Most importantly, though, you stay true to your system of beliefs, whether that’s church every Sunday or watching The Prince of Egypt every April. And remember that Seven Circles is always here for you to help navigate the questions you have about your relationship.
Author: Maris Rosenfeld, Community Outreach and Engagement Coordinator at SHALVA. She is in an interfaith relationship, and their agreement is that her partner attends Rosh Hashanah and Passover dinner, but doesn’t need to go to synagogue.
