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October is here, and with it, so is Domestic Violence Awareness Month (DVAM).
You might be thinking, “why on earth are we talking about Domestic Violence Awareness Month on a blog about healthy relationships??” and that’s a great question!
As we’ve written before, Seven Circles is a part of SHALVA, an agency committed to serving survivors of domestic abuse. A large part of serving our community in that way is actually talking about healthy relationships rather than harmful ones. This is what drew me to my role at SHALVA—I love that we can support survivors while talking about healthy love through a program like Seven Circles!
So much of our outreach highlights how to recognize the difference between healthy, unhealthy, or abusive relationships. The main takeaway here is: nuance.
What is an unhealthy relationship? Is it only hanging out with the person you’re dating? Is it calling 5 times a day? Is it monitoring what your partner spends their money on? Is it moving in together after 3 months? Is it ordering for you when you go out to dinner?
For some, yes. For others, these behaviors are fine. For example, my partner often calls me when he’s going to and from work, because he’s simply chatty. But for others, that many phone calls might border on controlling. And that’s the key word here: controlling. If any behavior starts to seem like it’s meant to control someone, then it’s entering abusive territory. The important thing is to trust your gut and know your resources.
Check in with your friends in relationships. Check in with yourself about your own. Does something not feel okay with you? SHALVA is here for you and your friends for any kind of relationship, healthy or not. You can always call with a question about your relationship or someone else’s – our number is 773-583-4673. We hope that this DVAM, you feel empowered to spot the signs, call SHALVA, and potentially change someone’s life.
Author: Maris Rosenfeld, Community Outreach and Engagement Coordinator. She’s learned to love her partner’s daily commute calls.
