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Let’s talk breakups.
I know, I know, breakups on a healthy relationship blog?Seems counterintuitive. BUT…
Breakups are unfortunately a part of life. Even when you feel someone might be the right person for you, even when you love them so much, the relationship can still end. Sometimes it’s a matter of compatibility, sometimes it’s an unhealthy relationship. No matter what, it can be extremely painful.
How do you decide if someone is right for you? Seven Circles is definitely one way to do that—many couples tell us how much they appreciated having the program as a tool to explore their relationship and what they want out of life.
How do you navigate through the pain if/when you decide they aren’t? Here are a few reminders for either yourself or for a friend during a breakup:
-This sucks. You thought the relationship would workout one way, and it ended up not. Validate that that alone as an experience is frustrating at best and really, truly heartbreaking at its worst.
-Find small moments of joy. It’s ok to feel sad and sit with your emotions (even the painful ones). And, at the same time, life is about balance. It’s important to find moments that feel better. Take a deep breath, get some sunshine, and remember that no situation is permanent. Even the pain that you feel now will eventually fade (I promise).
-You can’t predict the future. If the relationship wasn’t ‘right’ now, then it wasn’t. But that doesn’t mean you won’t find what’s right later on.
-Connect with the people you love: find your friends,family, pets, community that can lift you up and hold you during this tough time. Who do you want to spend your time with?
-There are many cliches to the tune of “you’re better off without them”. Take a quick peek at what your future could’ve been like with that person: are you happy, or are you kind of miserable? Would you rather be in a relationship with that person and miserable, or with someone else/single and a little bit happier? (These are also good questions to ask if you’re considering whether a breakup is the right move)
No matter how you move through it, you will move through it. You will be okay—tap into that support system externally and internally. Check out our resources page, and remember that we’re always here for you—through the good times and bad. 😊
Author: Maris Rosenfeld, Community Outreach and Education Coordinator. Her worst breakup was in high school and it felt like the end of the world--but life moves on and she's very happy with her partner.
